How do you start not giving a fuck?


  • Don’t ignore the problems you face. Rather, come to terms with them.
  • Realize your insignificance amidst the rest of the universe – It is the epitome of narcissism to think that our individual actions have any consequence in a universe where the entire Milky Way Galaxy is a tiny spec on the map. Likewise, most if not everything, people take issue with is meaningless in the grand scheme of things.
  • Go with the flow.  Let things happen and don’t try to change the inevitable.  This is lesson #1 from Taoism.
  • Be confident.  If you are confident in yourself then you won’t worry about meaningless criticism from others.  How do you gain confidence?  Know that you are born unique and have your own special gifts that make you who you are. If that doesn’t work, then fake it till you make it.  Dress in business clothes; pretend to have a million bucks. You will feel confident, and thus, you will act confident. And then you will feel more confident. It’s a cycle. A lot of confidence comes from experience, and when you don’t have any, you can at least fake it the first time around.
  • Get your mind right.  Get motivated. It takes a lot of courage to go out and dive head first into something you’ve never done before.  But you have to start somewhere. Get back to that feeling you used to get when you accomplished a task that took you a long time to reach.  Put yourself in that state of mind, listen to some music to pump you up, and just do it.
    • Practice meditation. Meditation is used to train your mind into developing a particular mindset.
  • Be grateful. Your existence itself is due to chance.  You are the result of billions of years of evolution and a seemingly infinite number of coincidences. Life itself is a gift that you have been given.  Stop giving a fuck about shit that doesn’t matter.
  • Death should be your constant reminder to make the most of your situation.  Every second that passes, you are dying and you have less time to do what you have always wanted to do. Don’t have any regrets when you take your last few gasps of air.
    • Have a near death experience – This is not recommended. But if you were fortunate to have one, frivolous worries and concerns wouldn’t seem to matter as much.
  • Understand fear – Most fear is irrational. Fear is the result of your brain jumping into cyclical thought patterns and then producing neurotransmitters that you perceive as fear.  But if you really analyze what’s going on, you will see your brain is automatically jumping to conclusions that may or may not happen.  And if your fear is realized, is it really as bad as you had envisioned?  Fear is your enemy.  Recognize it, and know that you can remove it immediately.
  • Reframe the situation. Turn what seems like a bad scenario into a not so bad one. Girl told you that you were ugly? You just prevented a lot of time and money being wasted on a horrible person.
  • Face your fear – You will notice that fear gradually subsides as you have spent more and more time facing it. The 2nd and 3rd time around won’t be nearly be as the 1st.  The unexpectedness of what may happen is no longer present and you realize that it’s not as bad as you had originally thought.  And a lot of your fear was probably based on potential outcomes that were envisioned but never came to fruition.
  • Don’t have expectations – You shouldn’t give a fuck about outcomes.  Do what you love.  If you set the bar too low, you will be content with mediocrity.  If you set the bar too high, motivation decreases if the goal seems too unrealistic.  Do what you love and do it to the best of your ability.  And if you enjoy what you do, you will continue to do it regardless of success or failure. Improvement is inevitable as you gradually learn from experience and correct your mistakes.
  • Repeat a mantra – A mantra is something you repeat to yourself to remind yourself to stay on course.  For example, you could tell yourself “Just do it” or “Fuck it,” before attempting to do something you are afraid of.
  • Punish yourself for failing and reward yourself for success.  And remember, it only works if you actually go through with your punishment.  You could try something as simple as snapping your wrist with a rubber band or you could hand over $100 to a friend if you fail.
  • Accept that you have no control over many things.  You don’t control your death or the fact not everyone loves you. You must accept this rather than try and change something that you cannot.   With this understanding comes the freedom of acting without being concerned with things outside of your control.
  • Ask yourself what you will think about this moment 10 years from now.  Will you remember it?  Will you regret that you let your fear take over?  Will it seem as significant then as it does in this exact moment?
  • Live in the moment.  The past is gone and can never be experienced again.  The future is an expectation which may never come to fruition.  The only moment we can truly experience and enjoy is the present.  Most of our fears and sadness come from reliving the past or predicting what may happen in the future; living in the present removes all these negative emotions.
  • Understand that the ego is an illusion.  It is a flaw of the human condition that causes us to overestimate our own value and succumb to fear/greed.
  • Don’t give a fuck about mistakes. Mistakes are learning tools. They force you to evolve into something better that will no longer make those same mistakes.
  • Really want change.  The only place from the bottom is up.  If you really want something to happen, you can make an effort.  Any effort is an improvement.  Challenge yourself.  Try something new.  Embrace change.
  • Start acting instead of thinking.  Just do it. Not giving a fuck is like a switch.  Turn it on.  That’s all it really takes.  It’s a habit.  Try to improve on it everyday.

Why should you not give a fuck?


  • There are so many things that you could be worrying about. Once you are done worrying about one issue, another arises. Will there ever be an end to this cycle? Why worry, when instead, you could just decide to not give a fuck.
  • Giving a fuck about issues that can’t be changed leads to nothing but misery. If we can’t change an outcome, rather than worrying about it, just make the appropriate changes. However, if nothing can be done worrying changes nothing and only results in stress.
  • We often give ourselves unrealistic expectations. If you have unrealistic expectations, your motivation to accomplish a task becomes reduced if you are unable to see yourself accomplishing it. More importantly, goals become unnecessary when you do your best. If you give it your best effort, you can’t possibly expect a different outcome than what actually happened. Furthermore, a goal will either limit your potential if set too low or reduce motivation if set too high. If you truly love what you do, the motivation to accomplish tasks is independent of failure. Continuing to give your best effort will come naturally and improvement is inevitable.
  • Won’t that lead to complacency? If you are fulfilled by watching TV, then yes you will be a bum. You may be motivated by saving endangered animals from a burning rainforest or killing noobs in Modern Warfare. For most of us there will be something that brings excitement to our day and this should motivate us to perform that particular task. If you do whatever it is that you love, persevering through failure and struggle won’t really feel all that horrible. After all, you are doing what you love. It is something you will continue to do regardless of success or failure and regardless of rewards or not. This drive is undying and will propel you to constantly improve. It does wither away when faced with defeat or obstacles. If what motivates you is something external, such as money or power, any setback will result in decreased motivation because you know that outcome is less likely to be realized.
  • Other people’s opinions do not matter. Other’s perceptions of you are based on their own experiences and are often inaccurate since they do not know you as well as you know yourself. So why should it matter if someone else thinks negatively of you? Your own opinion is the most important opinion of all and its weight should be heavier than the combined weight of every other opinion combined.
  • Your life will improve. We all want that right? Things you usually worry about will no longer concern you. Getting mad that YouTube places a 5 second ad before each clip shouldn’t enrage you nearly as much as before. When you rid yourself of these negative and unconstructive thoughts, you will be left in your natural state of happiness.
  • You will be more motivated to do what you have always wanted to do. Those irrational fears that prevented you from accomplishing your dreams are no longer present. You will act on your own impulses rather than feeling obligated to fulfilling someone else’s desires. Whatever it is you choose to do will lead to more happiness than if it was done for someone else.
  • You will have fun. You won’t be afraid to try new things. Think about all the opportunities you missed out on because you were afraid. You could have dated the model that smiled at you or visited that exotic country when you had the chance, but you were too scared to go through with it. If you avoided standup comedy out of fear of getting booed, then another comedy gig may not present itself to you. And these risks you open yourself up to can lead to more opportunities later on. If you play video games all day, you will never realize that maybe you get more of a rush by hiking a mountain.
  • You will broaden your horizons. You won’t be scared to try things that you probably should. You are no longer stuck in your comfort zone. You will try new things, you will have new experiences, expand your consciousness, you will open yourself to more opportunities, and your personality will grow. You won’t fear rejection when going to meet new friends, and subsequently you will make more friends (many of which will be better than the ones you currently have).
  • You will have more self-confidence. Whatever insecurities you have will vanish when you don’t give a fuck about being different or unique. Someone’s opinion of you is too minor to affect your mood.
  • You will have a more authentic personality. It will conform to who you truly are. You won’t be changing your personality based on what others think of you and you won’t be scared to stand for what you believe in and express who you are. Since you speak your mind without fear, those of a like-mind will naturally gravitate towards you and those that disagree will fade away.
  • You will have more honest interactions with your friends and family. These are the people who you need to be honest with as they are first ones to help you in a time of need. And you will have more meaningful conversations. You will get right to the point and say what you like and don’t like.
  • You will take control of your life. You won’t make excuses. You won’t waste your time with inconsequential worries and focus more on the important things that can improve your life.